November, 2007

“Life Gets in the Way”…

I am not dead.


See? I’m here, just lying around, doin’ nothing.

(And sorry, folks, this is about as provocative as I get, least on the Internet J

I’ve been so comfortable in fact, that I’ve just haven’t felt like getting up and writing in this blog…

Blog? What Blog?
Oh, yeah, right. That’s it…
Of course, I could simply admit that I’ve ignored this blog way too long because I’ve been so busy. And that would be true. But hey, you’re busy, too, and...

you’ve had time to go into this blog expecting some kind of entertainment (yeah, I got your emails) but you see, as my friend Michael Heaton says (well, he’s not my friend-friend, but we are acquaintances) writers don’t get paid to blog, and it takes an enormous amount of time to write it – for free (something we serious writers were trained never to do, and by the way, go Writers Guild! – *not that I support anyone out of work but rarely do writers get compensated enough for their work, and then there’s that whole internet issue…) 




But bloggin’ is fun, and I forget that sometimes, when life gets in the way.


So let’s have some fun. . . .


What really is fun is listening to those great Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials. In my opinion these writers are true geniuses (And I bet they get paid very well, too - as they should).


It just makes my day when I hear these bits on WNCX-98.5, and boy, what I wouldn’t give to be in a room full of those writers as they crank out those gems! (My favorite part is when that guy, who talks really, really fast, pipes in with his little input – it’s the best part.


So in honor of those talented writers, and the guy who keeps this website current (that is when I finally send him something) I thought it’d be fun to make up my own little Real Men of Genius ditty. 


But of course, in order to truly appreciate this, you have to have that little jingle going on in our head as you read along. . . .


Ready? (and if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, please move on to next subhead as it really doesn’t work on paper if you don’t know the tune – or better yet listen to 98.5 for at least an hour, you’ll hear it)


Okay, here goes…




My Personal Bud Light Salute:




Real Men of Genius. Reeaal Men of Geeeniuuuus . . .


Today We Salute You, Oh Great Master of Dee’s Website      


(Oh, Great Master of Deeee’s Websiite!)


Without you, this site would look like that first attempt so long ago, when musician Jonah Koslen had but one word to describe its graphics . . . “Oooouch”


(Oh, where are my cheap sunglasses ? …)


But then, without me, my fine Webmaster, your hair might look like David Lee Roth’s, circa 1980…


(But you’re no Gigolo...)


At a moment’s notice, you carefully cut, and paste, and copy, and send. And—after much-advanced notice—I carefully trim, and weave, and highlight your drummer locks. . .


(We make each other look good …)


So crack open another cold, thirst-quenching brewski, Oh Creator of the Charismatic Website


Because without you, I’d be just another writer desperately seeking a left-brained computer geek


(We only use our right brains, ya know…)


And you’d be just another poorly coiffured (but great, great) musician from the North Coast….


(Oh Greeeat Maaaster of Deeeee’s Websiiite…..)


Brought to you by, Cleveland, Ohio




Gee, now that was fun (though a lot of work for free…)




If You Want to Get Caught – Rob a Bank!


Okay, we all know it’s tough to get a job with limited skills and brain cells, but come on, there are better options than wearing a stupid scarf on your face and barging into a bank demanding money. New Flash!: Statistics show that 98% of bank robbers get caught. Hear that? 98%!! Now wouldn’t you want better odds if you were going to break the law? I mean, duh?! And yet, this is still one of the most common crimes. And it’s particularly sad when you read about a guy who had a hit R & B record and is now robbing banks for a living. The artist, who now lives in Northeast Ohio, was a member of the ‘50s group, The Coronets which charted with “Nadine,” recently robbed a Key Bank because he “was behind in his bills and was going to get evicted from his apartment.” Didn’t anyone ever tell him he could always sing for his supper?




Still There’s Hope for America


 A wonderful thing happened to me on Halloween night. I was enjoying handing out the treats to the kiddies with their little bags (some with not-so-little bags) marveling at their costume ingenuity and politeness (every one of them, save for one, said “Thank you” upon receiving their treat). After one excitable boy, perhaps eight or nine, took off after receiving his candy, but then soon came back. Did he want more candy? No, he came up to me and handed a broken solar landscape light that graces our driveway. “I’m really sorry, ma’am,” he said. “I broke your light but it was an accident. I didn’t see it, honest, I’m really sorry.”


Wow, what could I say? He was so sweet and apologetic. I was so impressed and wanted to immediately flag down his mother and thank her for raising such a great kid, but he was gone in a flash, perhaps expecting me to yell at him.


Of course, I can forgive him for breaking the light, though I’m not so sure about calling me, Ma’am. Man, I hate being called Ma’am…


Anyway, it did my heart good that there are still kids out in the world who are kind, polite and respectful. And own up to their mistakes. Some adults can learn a lesson in that . . .




It Is What It Is!


 While I do try and keep this blog short and to some kind of point (I may not keep the promise of “updated weekly!” but once I’m in here, it’s hard to get me out! J


I like having all the old blogs on one continuous page. However, one of my old friends (he deserves that) mentioned to me that when he finally took time to check out my blog, he first scrolled down to see “how long it was.” (Apparently, he’s a busy guy, being retired and all…)


And I suppose he scrolled down so quickly, he didn’t notice that every entry is not only dated, but also has subheads to separate topics so readers don’t have to read everything all in one setting (I suppose he thought there would be a test afterward…)


Now, I could have my Honorable Webmaster (remember him?)




 put in a separate link for each dated blog as many folks do. But then, let’s be honest here, would you really read the old stuff? I think not.


I myself never click on those dates in other sites because I don’t know what they’ll be about, and so am not intrigued enough to go into it.


It is thus my opinion that having all the blogs on one easy-to-read page J you scrollers out there might actually spot something of interest on your way down.


In addition, I often refer to former entry mentions to emphasize a point, so it’s actually to your best interest to have everything readily available. So keep up with me people.


Lastly, I remember when my rather lengthy book came out - one look and a few people thought “I’ll never read all that, it’s too long!” Then they realized that each chapter has a lot of subtitles dividing the sections for easier reading (I was way ahead of you who “don’t like to read a lot”).


Anyway, it’s my hope that as a result of keeping this whole Blog at your one-stop disposal, that you return often, since you’ll have something else to read before you must fill up your time with boring stuff like work, and chores, and bathroom duties. . .




This has been an emergency announcement. Now back to our regularly scheduled Blog…




Cody Update


You know, when we first got this dog, I was surprised at the reaction I often got from people (apparently who have had dogs in the past). First, they’d ask what kind of dog, then they’d say, “Now why would want to do that?” And now I know why. . .


In the hour I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve let him outside four times, let him back in four times, have gotten up once again to feed him, give him water, stopped him from chasing the cat, taken away one of my best socks (too late, holes already there) along with pulling out some other kind of foreign matter from his mouth . . . And it’s only 8 a.m.!!!


There was also the time we got him fixed a few months back and we had to make him wear this cone around his head so he wouldn’t tear out his stitches .


But then he kept bumping into furniture (ok, that was kinda funny) so my daughter got this idea to wrap him up with an old shirt, like a diaper  but that didn’t last long either. Finally we gave up and he is just fine, thank you.




So many times I have asked myself, Oh, what were we thinking?



But then . . . then  . . . I look at that face And all is forgiven…


It reminds me of that saying ‘bout little kids, God makes them cute so you don’t kill ‘em….




One More Thing Before I Go




First a big shout out to The Indians (for at least getting us in the playoffs) The Browns (for getting us excited again – that was some kick . . .), and well, I’m almost ready to forgive LeBron for that cap incident. So you all can forget what I said in the previous blog. . .


I also want to say Happy Birthday to my much-older husband, who, like a fine Merlot, gets better with age. Here he is still celebrating his big day a week later, (he generally goes the whole month but has mellowed over the years). And no, that’s not me sitting next to him, but another redhead (who doesn’t even use Miss Clairol, the bitch LOL – really, just kidding) who is actually a good friend of ours who, fortunately for me, has a nice boyfriend).


Anyway, Happy Birthday, Jeff, here’s to another 50-something years (that is, if you quit smoking J




Till next time, folks, if you ever feel the need to get a pet, I hear a Chia Pet is pretty low-maintenance. And cheap, too.