Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.”

From The Secret Life of Bees

 

Contents

 

                                                  Prologue

Excerpt from Prologue:

 

When I was five I almost drowned. Even at that age, you’d think I would have had some kind of divine near-death experience—say, a bright light at the end of a tunnel, a chorus of singing angels, or visions of my short-lived life flashing before me. The drama of it all certainly warranted some kind of grand illusion. But no. What happened that day in the lake at Munroe Falls, Ohio, gave way to more practical impressions. It was my first real encounter with guilt. And regret. And thankfulness. And that was even before I ended up Catholic.

But it wasn’t before I’d acquired the Ruth family gene—an inherited characteristic that runs smoothly through my grandmother’s side like fine whiskey. The independent, don’t-care-what-you-told-me-not-to-do-I’m-gonna-go-right-ahead-and-do-it-anyway trait. (Similarly played out in infamous fashion by George Herman Ruth, aka Babe, who our family believes is an ancestor—story in Part Two.) That same trait runs stubbornly through my oldest daughter, and in some cases, can be a good thing.

But that day, it nearly got me killed. Charlotte, my twenty-one-year-old babysitter, a responsible neighbor who’d been watching me since I was six months old, took me, along with her girlfriend and three kids, for a day of sun and fun. It was a man-made lake, and I remember those little orange balls bobbing in the water, dividing the shallow part from the deep. And the rule was: Don’t go past those little balls. Stay in the designated area. . . .

My Ruth side had already declared that rules can be broken. And it wasn’t that Charlotte hadn’t been watching me. But I specifically waited until she wasn’t looking, then took off toward the diving area. Where everyone else seemed to be having a lot more fun. That little voice that lives inside us all warned me, in a forceful whisper, Do Not Go In. But as I said, I have this independent streak. So I compromised.

I’ll just stick my foot in and see how far down the water goes, I told my young self, not realizing there was slippery cement underneath that inviting water. With no traction, my small wet body slid in quickly, like quicksand.

How could I have known how incredibly bad my timing was? That the lifeguard had just walked away for her break?

Part One: Life, Etc.

                                                    1. Child Development

                                                           Lakeline, Ohio

                                                           Little Me Too

                                                           Poker Night at Ralph & Vi’s

                                                           Choosing a Beatle

                                                           Euclid Beach Park

 

                         2. Fits & Starts

                                   Girl Trouble

                                                           Smoking Hazards

                                                           Crime & Punishment

                                                           All Girls’ School Blues

                                                          Confessions of a Not-So-Good Catholic Girl

 

                                             3. Destination Freedom

                                                           Boy Trouble

                                                           I was a Teenage Hitchhiker

                                                           California Dreamin’

                                                           Looking for Mr. Good Car

                                                           This Bird Has Flown

                        

                                             4. You Had Me at Vroom, Vroom

                                                          Wild Boys of Summer

                                                          Love in a Biker Bar – Or How I Found a Good Man 

                                                          Rides of Passage

 

                                             5. Day Jobs

                                                          Dialing for Dollars

                                                          Suffering for My Art

                                                          Memoirs of a Seasoned Hairdresser

 

                                

Part Two: Love

 

                                        6. Adventures in Parenting

                                                          R is for Ruth – As in Babe

                                                          Fathers & Daughters

                                                          The Good Mother and the Bad Fairy Tale

                                                          A Helicopter Mom Lets Go

 

                                             7. Last Call

                                                          Grandpa, The Baseball Fan

                                                          G as in Gregarious

                                                          Father of Christmas Past

                                                          Letters to Kathy

                                                          And Tigger, Too

                                                          Pennies from Heaven

 

                                             8. Wine, Women & Wisdom

                                                          Girls’ Night Out

                                                          My Best Friend’s Weddings

                                                          How My Mother Got Her Groove Back

 

 

Part Three: Legacies 

                                                       9. What I Know So Far

                                                          Perseverance is a Virtue

                                                          Fifty Is Not for Sissies

                                                          Music Saves

                                                          What We Keep, What We Leave

                                                          Homecoming

                                                          What I Want To Tell My Children

                                                    

                                                               

                                                                 Epilogue